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Friday, October 11, 2013

Classic: Back Massager and Worst Lab [Shadow]

I Got the Back Massager

Sammy: Labrador_Retriever

Sammy here you said do some bad stuff in humans eyes, well I did and the pack thinks it's great. Mom left Shady and I at Grandmas' house and as usual we were put in our kennels when nobody was watching us. Well we got put in the house loose (all 6 of us), Mom asked Grandma if she should put us in our kennels and Grandma said Dan is home, he'll put them in the kennels before he leaves. Then Dan left and we were still loose. Grandma has a thing she puts in her chair that makes an awful racket (like someone pounding on the door, it used to make the guys bark, but they got told they couldn't bark at it because Grandma could turn it off and on) but it makes her back feel good after playing at the computer or with some of her toys like the sewing and knitting machines or at her office. Being the pack animal I am I decided to kill the massager. Being a bright Lab and having a lot of brains to help (a Poodle, Yorkie, 2 cockers and another Lab) I was careful to only disconnect the wire that went to the controller. Grandpa opened the door and we flew out. I knew the moment he got in the living room by the exasperated yell he let out and Grandma saying what's wrong with fear in her voice (she thought we destroyed the furniture). I made the mistake of trying to take it apart totally, but didn't like the taste, or was it on the advice of a buddy (I'll never tell) so I went right to the source of the problem and chewed the wire in half. Grandpa was very impressed as I didn't touch the live wire and it was definitely a clean cut between the controller and the massager. Grandpa says he will fix it, when he feels sharper (maybe I should loan him my teeth, as they left very nice prints). Bit says he didn't help, as he likes it when it is warm on brisk days. Sammy

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Date: 04-Oct-97Age: 0Sex: male
Home: Ft. Wayne, INDamage: $25.00Human: Jeni and Tom

Comment: I killed one of those back massagers myself. I chewed off its life source.
Maggie

I am the worst Lab of the WeekSammy: Labrador_Retriever

I only did two things, but I understand they were major by human standards. It was 1:30 am and no sign of a train, so I started howling forgetting I was at Grandmas house,where the people live very close on one side. All of a sudden I hear footsteps,and figure it is about time Grandpa got up and made breakfast. Wrong, it is Grandma without her glasses,she opens the kennel door and tells us outside,Cass (my Lab uncle)and I go to the downstairs door, and the door shuts tight, but my mouth shuts tighter. Cass doesn't like sleeping anywhere but in his kennel or on the sofa,and he knew we were spending the rest of the night in the basement.Later, my brother Shadow and Mom Jen show up. Grandma tells Mom what I already know,I have to go home do to my howling. I think Shadow snickered his tail made his whole cocker self shake.
That night,Dad is asleep in his chair, now I have chased the pizza guy, caught a mouse or two. I am bored and a bored labbie is bad news. First, I give Dad everything I can find to run after in his lap, but no response. Well he is still sleeping with his mouth open, so I gave him a big kiss with my tongue as deep down his throat as it could get before he jumped up and ran for the mouthwash. Obviousily, Mom thought it was funny, but dad sure didn't. I heard Mom say she thought I needed more one on one attention, so Shadow could stay at Grandma's another night. When I found out that Shady was staying another night,J & T felt sorry for me and let me sleep in their bed between them,so I wouldn't fall out. First I howled with the lady (she is recovering from the 6 month surgery,I understand I am next) dog next door. Then when we went back to sleep, I started running in my sleep which means I kicked my bedmates and then got sent out of their bed.
Don't you three ever do anything minxie? Shadow is home again,and appears to have dined well.
Sam


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Date: 28-Jan-98Age: 0Sex: male
Home: unknownDamage: $0.00Human: Jeni and Tom

Comment: You sure have a lot of tales to tell. What is minxie?Maggie


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